How are things different from before online dating
The male voice
Spanking out the effect of hormones
Three female film characters men admire
My friend, my lover, my rock
American type of marriage
Reassurance for those new to all this
My first online dating experience
Growing up
Very well said, Pat. Go ahead and surrender your need to control every situation, and give your man your trust, but PLEASE speak up when you have more specialized knowledge about something than he does, if your intuition is talking to you loudly, or simply if something is very, very important to you. If he loves you (and he does), your voice will be heard in the final decision.
Cicely
by Cicely on 2005 Dec 30 - 20:44 | reply to this comment
Decision making
Thanks for your input, Pat, and you're right about not entirely trusting someone with major financial decisions.
However, in defense of my above post, I was not talking about life-altering decisions regarding money, home, or our child's welfare and education. I realize that the car decision, ultimately, is not an important one, but for some reason, it was a decision that we fought about constantly. For important things (like education,) we discuss it and come to the best decision possible, but we rarely have any conflict over it, mostly because we usually agree on those subjects.
The major sticking point has always been cars because both my husband and I have our preferences. Usually, in those situations, I would push until I got my way, and then neither of us was happy. It was nice, for once, to trust his judgment and remind myself that he would not buy a car if he wasn't positive that we could afford it and all the related expenses. (And he did have the numbers to prove that we could afford it.)
Beyond cars, we do have other areas that create conflict, of course. Usually, they're over unimportant matters. I would never waive away my equal say in important decisions, nor did I marry a man who would allow me to do that. I'm a competent, educated woman, not a doormat.
The male voice
Spanking out the effect of hormones
Three female film characters men admire
My friend, my lover, my rock
American type of marriage
Reassurance for those new to all this
My first online dating experience
Growing up
Very well said, Pat. Go ahead and surrender your need to control every situation, and give your man your trust, but PLEASE speak up when you have more specialized knowledge about something than he does, if your intuition is talking to you loudly, or simply if something is very, very important to you. If he loves you (and he does), your voice will be heard in the final decision.
Cicely
by Cicely on 2005 Dec 30 - 20:44 | reply to this comment
Decision making
Thanks for your input, Pat, and you're right about not entirely trusting someone with major financial decisions.
However, in defense of my above post, I was not talking about life-altering decisions regarding money, home, or our child's welfare and education. I realize that the car decision, ultimately, is not an important one, but for some reason, it was a decision that we fought about constantly. For important things (like education,) we discuss it and come to the best decision possible, but we rarely have any conflict over it, mostly because we usually agree on those subjects.
The major sticking point has always been cars because both my husband and I have our preferences. Usually, in those situations, I would push until I got my way, and then neither of us was happy. It was nice, for once, to trust his judgment and remind myself that he would not buy a car if he wasn't positive that we could afford it and all the related expenses. (And he did have the numbers to prove that we could afford it.)
Beyond cars, we do have other areas that create conflict, of course. Usually, they're over unimportant matters. I would never waive away my equal say in important decisions, nor did I marry a man who would allow me to do that. I'm a competent, educated woman, not a doormat.